2018: Her Year in Review

By : LeAmbivert

‘Do the people think they will be left to say ‘we believe’ and not be tested?’

This year started out badly. If you read my 2017 review, I mentioned that I wanted to commence my MSc in 2018 which also had to be fully funded. The first quarter of the year was filled with rejections from certain programmes and funding opportunities. It appeared that the deity of scholarships did not smile at me after all because all I had was admissions without money to attend. It was honestly easier to give up but somehow, I stuck with the more difficult choice. Did it pay off? Well, there is only one way to find out.

‘No soul will be burdened beyond its scope’

This is not the city I hoped to be writing this review from but I took so many giant strides this year which I am grateful to God for. I completed my compulsory national service in April and took a long overdue trip to the United States. America provided a sense of clarity and a break from the struggles of the first part of 2018. I was having so much fun until my trip was cut short by another commitment in Nigeria. Another loss. It seemed like my year could not get any worse.

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Be wary of roads that do not lead home

‘So be patient. Verily, the promise of Allah is true’

Many people thought I was crazy for wanting to pick further studies over a job but at this time in my life, some things are greater than others. I still tried to apply for graduate jobs in Nigeria and had really interesting interviews including two where the recruiters told me not to accept the job because they did not want me to limit myself. I eventually got a job I could have managed. A job whose starting salary would have some people call me deranged for picking a Masters over; but as I said earlier, some things are greater than others.

‘Verily, with every hardship, there is ease’

‘…It may happen that you hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that you love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows, you know not’

My 2018 ‘behind the scenes’ almost drove me crazy. I dined with worry and wined with tears. So many things happened this year whose explanation will significantly lengthen this piece so I will condense the story and go straight to the point. Things started working out in my favour after my trip. It was like God knew I had been starved of good news because I began to be overwhelmed by them. This year, I applied to over 52 graduate programs and scholarships combined, got accepted into 90% of the programs, and won half a dozen scholarships. It felt unreal going from nothing to winning 6 scholarships of which 3 were fully funded (including 2 prestigious British Commonwealth scholarships) all totalling about 200,000 US Dollars. I also got admitted into the University of Cambridge for a highly selective course I thought I could only get into in my wildest dreams. 2018 showed me that wild dreams do come through. Unfortunately, I could not accept my Cambridge offer due to lack of finances. Cambridge is the city I hoped to be writing this review from but God knows best.

‘Read: And thy Lord is the Most Bounteous’

I got bigger on investing in 2018 and while I cannot put my figures out here, I implore everyone who reads this and can afford to invest to do so. Just so you know, it is okay to start small. I also perfected my driving and occasionally hit 100km/h on Third Mainland Bridge (don’t tell my mother). I did not write my regular mainstream things this year for the same reason I did not do so in 2017. However, I wrote about 50 things or more this year relating to graduate admissions and funding and I am glad to have done so because it presented a steep learning curve for me. Up until September, I was able to read 50 books and it went downhill from there because of my severe academic commitments. I also read about 300 articles that Pocket equates to 19 books. These numbers will, unfortunately, dwindle further in the coming year.

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New books exist to keep us from re-reading the old ones

‘And we have created you in pairs’

In my previous reviews, I have never made mention of nuptials because my friends had not quite reached that stage yet. 2018 was a spectacular year because four of my friends got married! I attended only 50% of those but it was a truly rewarding and beautiful experience. I got to see people I have known for years take the next big steps in their lives to co-habit with other humans. This has even started paying off because I now get marriage advice for free. Who knew having married friends is a wise investment? Me neither. I am looking forward to the 2019 weddings, most of which I think I will attend via Instagram.

Is 2019 the year I get married? I honestly cannot answer that question at this time due to factors beyond my control. I am truly scared of taking this next step which explains why I have been pushing it for years now. I feel like there is so much I should do before tying the knot. Marriage seems like the pathway to children and that makes it even more frightening. I have no problems with who I have decided to take this long walk with because he is highly supportive and at the risk of sounding cliché, he pushes me to be a better version of myself. This is why I took a huge step on the relationship front this year as my parents and I met our prospective in-laws and as you guessed, they are nothing short of amazing.

‘What is coming is better than what has gone’

As human beings must continue to want and toil, I have begun applying to more opportunities and putting concisely, the end of the tunnel still looks pitch dark. As ever, I am counting on God to come through in infinite proportions. I have not even had a  total of 100 rejections this year, I said 100 because that is the point where I say ‘wheew’ but still go again. Now that I am approaching 60, I have no right to be tired. We move.

‘Which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?’

I am currently looking outside my window awaiting the snow and at least thankful that this review is being written far away from a city in the tropics where I have called home for the last decade. In my short time here, I have found and made this place my second home because I truly feel at peace here. With my Master’s degree in progress and friendships with people from places I did not know were places, I am glad to look back with nostalgia and say 2018 was a very rewarding year. There were a lot of losses and lessons but there were much more wins. I’d normally mention my plans for the following year but this time around, I do not want to jinx it. I just hope to secure the bag in 2019.

 

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Part the blinds; see through the window

My 2018 review being no exception, below are the lessons I learnt this year:

  • God is sufficient
  • Your dreams are valid. Even the wild ones
  • Always go again. Fall down twice, rise up thrice
  • Everyone needs older friends who have walked in their path to show them the ropes
  • Representation is so important
  • In all aspects of your life, always show up

 

I cannot bring myself to end this review without acknowledging certain people.

A heartfelt gratitude to God for infinite mercies and miracles this year. Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen.

Mum and dad, I am glad that more than ever, all the sacrifices you made for my education paid off this year. Thank you for giving me a gift that keeps on giving.

Jibola, Temilade, and Bisola, you outdid yourselves this year. Keep the torch aloft.

Raheemah and Salamah, I consider you to be my sisters from other mothers. God knows where it hurts us all. I hope he sends healing.

Ladi Williams, numbers can’t quantify neither can words qualify how grateful I am for giving me more than 24 hours.

Brother Sulayman, you are still the elder brother we all never had. I am glad you found peace in the US.

Amina Oke, every unmarried (Muslim) woman needs a slice of you in their lives. Thank you for never mincing words.

Umm Nabilah, I have always wished I had an elder sister. Thank you for showing me what that feels like.

Bettye, you are so kind and you have an amazing heart. I hope you keep winning.

Aisha and Samiat, may Allah ease your affairs.

Temi Kalejaiye, you have the most inspiring stories. May your light never dim.

Quadri Adewale, thank you for pushing me to send that email. It changed everything. May Allah grant you goodness.

To everyone else who was part of my year, I wish you love and light.

2018, thank you for the losses, lessons, and wins. 2019, we go again.

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2017: Her year in review

By:  Leambivert

‘Which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?’

‘2017, I have a very terrible feeling about you but I still hope you go as planned’ was the last sentence in my 2016 review. 365 days after, I wonder what I was scared of. I was able to effectively convert all the lemons the year threw at me into lemonade and I feel like I succeeded in bending 2017 to my will because so far, it has gone as planned. With an Electrical & Electronic Engineering Bachelor’s degree in the bag, relieved is how I rode into 2017. I took a vacation to England where I met friends I made off Twitter,

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That fellow symmetrically placed between the exit doors and underneath Sir Alex Ferguson. Yeah, that’s me.

visited places I had read about, shopped impulsively, and ate junk to my heart’s content. I also appeased the god of graduate admissions by visiting a couple of universities including one of my dream schools. I made the most of my 21 day holiday which made up for all the stress I went through planning my trip.

‘Endure patiently with beautiful patience’

I got mobilized this year to obey Nigeria’s clarion call and the period during which I was in NYSC camp is easily the worst 21 days of my life. I often reflect on how I made it out alive and disease free. I always give myself credit for being very adaptable but I do not know which was worst among the smell of humanity, the horrible routines, the soldiers, or the male humans who though could not communicate properly attempted to strike conversations with me.

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The floor is ‘NYSC camp is fun’

I kept to myself a lot and maintained very minimal human interaction. People did seem to enjoy camp and someone even hoped our stay would be extended to 3 months. If that had happened, I may have been taken out on the 25th day in a body bag.

 ‘Do people think they’ll be left to say they believe and not be tested?’

Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.’

2017 decided I did not suffer enough in camp and decide to throw me bags of distress during my search for a place of primary assignment (PPA). I redeployed to Lagos immediately after camp and although, I had 2 offers, I just was not satisfied with them. After about a month, some sprinkles of worry, a handful of sadness, a dash of compromise, I finally got settled in my current place of work. So far, excluding the stress at the weekly Community Development Scheme (CDS) it has been a great experience, I have had a chance to meet and interact with really amazing humans.

‘…increase me in knowledge’

2017 travelled with the speed of light and it did not leave room for me to write anything. I blame it on the fact that unlike other years, I was very emotionally stable this year. If you however let me regard my graduate studies application and funding essays, then I wrote about 30 things this year. For all the things I did not write, I made up for by reading.

2017 books

E-books because they have no weight but occupy space

 

The book club I joined last year did not make it past the first quarter of this year and so, I had to latch onto self-motivation. As at the time of writing this essay, I had read 54 books in 2017. I know 2018 will be pale compared to 2017 in this regard because I envisage a busy year ahead.

 ‘Be patient over what befalls you’

I hit new levels of low in 2017 when I struggled with my weight and my skin. This will sound funny to those who know me because in the real sense of it, I am slim and I don’t understand why I felt so insecure. After tubs of salad, series of jogs, intense portion control, NYSC camp, Ramadan fast, and gross reduction of carbohydrates, I went down 6kg to 59kg (to put it in perspective, my height is about 5ft 8”). Due to the intense exposure to the sun at NYSC camp, my face got ruined. It got so dark and rough which made me look like I had a charcoal bath while scrubbing my face with stones. I became a product junkie and spent regrettable amount of resources on skin care products. It is now way better than it was and I am just here hoping the lord of glo up deems my face worthy of a visit in 2018.

 ‘And whoever puts his trust in God, He will be enough for him’

The last quarter of this year was a mentally and emotionally tortuous one. I had so much to do and it just felt like deadlines were taking turns to laugh at me. When I wasn’t freaking out, I was either worried, or editing essays. All these happened because I was applying for graduate studies and funding. A lot of times during this process, I cried and wondered why I am not from a more privileged background. I was weary and sick of trying because I was struggling to get what some others get on a diamond platter but somehow, I found peace and rolled along. In retrospect, I learnt a lot from the whole process and so far, I have celebrated little wins and little victories. I am writing this paragraph with the hope that the god of rejection mails does not locate me in the coming year.

And we have created you in pairs’

Things got a little serious on the relationship front this year. I finally met my ‘internet’ crush from 2016 when I went to England and it has been long distance for almost a year. If I were to take the long walk now, I would choose to walk with this human who has been supportive in unbelievable proportions and is easily the best thing that happened to me this year. Together, we have celebrated little wins and grieved over losses and I find it amazing that we recognize we are best friends before anything else. If this person was not in the picture, I honestly do not know who would have been at the receiving end of catching flaks and listening to my everyday rants. In my yearly reviews, this is the part where I hint about finding the loml. Concisely put, for now, that search has been put on hold because I have found an almost perfect fit.

We plan, God also plans but God is the best of planners.

Adulting hit me a little hard this year. I moved out of my parent’s house just so I could be close to work and let’s just say I have not quite explored the full range of the freedom I now possess. As planned, I started off this year trying to meet more people off Twitter but that did not go past March because social interactions truly stress me out. Also in line with my plans, I started voluntarily teaching Mathematics to young girls in public secondary schools to kick-start my long-term goal of increasing the number of women in STEM. So far, it has been a great experience and has made me reflect on the depth of rot in our education sector and if Nigeria can ever get to Canaan. 2017 is not nearly as eventful as 2016, I had a quiet year and which I achieved almost all I planned to.

‘Indeed, what is to come is better than what has gone by’

Hopefully, 2018 is the year where I kick some more ass by completing my NYSC, getting a job, taking my coding and Qur’an memorization more seriously, starting my Master’s degree (hopefully in my dream school) and following through with all the other plans I have rolled out in my head.

Here are a few lessons I picked up over the last 365 days:

 

  • Sometimes, revenge is more effective than forgiveness
  • I can achieve anything as long as I put my mind to it
  • It is okay to stand your ground sometimes even with all the odds against you
  • Usually, something has to give
  • Acknowledge your privilege and be grateful for it

Will it not be rather wrong of me to end this review without some form of acknowledgement?

Unadulterated thanks to God for the little wins, victories and mercies this year.

Grateful to my family for solicited and unsolicited support.

Raheemah and Salamah, we have evolved from being friends to sisters. I hope the bond strengthens with time and 2018 is kind to you both. Sending you love and light.

Gabriella, Idu, and Ope, thank you for lighting up lunch time with amazing conversations.

Ladi Williams, you are my favourite person of 2017. Thank you for coming through on days I was too scared to live. For all you’ve been, all you are, and all you will be, words cannot do justice.

Uncle Suleiman, you are the elder brother we all never had. I am rooting for you and hoping America treats you well. Greatness awaits.

Jibola, I owe you one for all the support and words of encouragement.

Nazira, Kosi, Loveth, Blessing, Chinenye, and Wole, thank you for helping me stay sane in NYSC camp.

Lape Arojo, you went out of your way to be nice to me though you barely know me. May you always find help whenever you seek.

Abdulrahman, Aisha, Toun, and Muqhtar, I hope you all win.

Quora, thank you for been there all these years.

 

2017, it has been quite a ride. 2018, bring it on.

 

 

Cover Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash

 

 

2016. Her Year in view

By: Leambivert

We plan, God also plans but God is the best of planners.

I ended by 2015 review with ‘2016, cheers to you. Please, be lit’ and now that 2016 is almost ending, I realize that it was actually a positively and negatively lit year. I refer to the statement ‘There are years that ask questions and there are years that answer’. 2016 for me answered a lot of questions and asked even much more.

I started my 2016 on a vessel off the shores of the country as part of my 6 months internship experience

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The Akpo FPSO where 2016 met me. The  waters make room for unwarranted reflection.

and at the same time, I was nursing a heartbreak I saw coming. It’s safe to say my 2016 started out as very average because the 2 events mentioned earlier cancelled out and gifted me an average beginning to the year. I rounded up the internship, returned to school to complete the final lap of my university education.

‘Certainly, we have created man to toil (in order to achieve a marvelous goal)’

The normal school struggle started coupled with issues of finding a final year project topic. I particularly had issues because my project supervisor was away for the whole of first semester but after a lot of struggle and bouts of lows and worrying sick, I was finally able to come up with a topic my supervisor and I agreed on. Asides project, there was also the pressure to keep up with my grades. I had heard that final year was relaxing but I couldn’t even relax because a lot was at stake.  A whole lot.

‘Verily, with every hardship, there is ease’

This year was a particularly interesting one for us as a class. It was like people broke out of their cocoons and more perverted jokes flew around the class every day. I also cannot leave out the fact that by the beginning of the second semester (our tenth and final semester), we had all lost the drive for school and classes. As usual, there were tests (and examinations) that were unfortunate in epic proportions but we moved still. It all seems like yesterday when we started this journey but it’s actually been five years and all I can say is we really have come a long way from where we began.

‘And say: My Lord, increase me in knowledge’

I told myself at the end of last year that 2016 was going to be the year of increased self-development which I think I did to the best of my abilities. At different times this year, I joined a Qur’an memorization group, a book club and I started learning to play tennis. Although, I am not where I hoped to be as regards the Qur’an but baby steps are greater than no steps at all. Prior to joining the book club, I had already read a lot of non-school books on my own but joining made me read even more.

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Physical books because e-books cannot be stacked atop each other.

I know that there are weeks this year I went without reading a book but if my memory serves me right, I read more than 30 books this year and they have gone a long way in widening my horizon and even make me eligible to join in more conversations. I had never been the sporty kind of person so people especially family were very surprised when I decided to take on tennis. To be honest, I am very surprised that I have been very consistent with it and I actually enjoy and look forward to playing it every weekend. Also, I indulged in leisure writing a lot more this year. In all, I think I surpassed my expectations as regards personal development in 2016.

‘Is God not the best of judges?’

I also learnt this year not to judge people by my own standards. I have come to realize that we have different realities and I have stopped expecting people to reason or do things the way I do. I had a roommate this year who is the complete opposite of me with almost different ideals. I thought I was going to have issues living with her but she turned out to be an extremely amazing person. Though very different from me, we still found common grounds and objects of banter every single day.

And he found you lost and guided you’

On the religious front, this year was a rollercoaster ride. It was quite an undulating year in that regard but never for once did I feel rejected by God. It was like anytime I felt lost and needed to find Him, He was always there to dump all my problems on. On days of tiny and huge worries, God always came through in vast amounts. 2016 also made me realize that I don’t talk about my major life problems with people except in extreme cases and that I am not as open as I think I am. For someone who talks a lot when she wants to, I think I have perfected the fine art of saying a whole lot yet so little. The only problems I speak of are probably my boy issues because they are usually the least of my worries.

‘…and We have made you tribes and sub-tribes so you may recognise one another’

‘…All of you are descended from Adam and Adam has been created from dust.’

‘And we have created you in pairs’

This year was a pretty eventful one on the relationship front. I think my mother’s prayers got answered this year because I stopped meeting doctors and started meeting fellow engineers, a whole lot of them. I learnt this year that sometimes you need to make your parents understand that some decisions are mostly yours to make. I met someone this year that is from a tribe different from mine and my parents told me in a diplomatic manner to discontinue the relationship. This sort of thing had never happened to me so I was both clueless and shocked as per how to handle the situation. After a lot of struggle, I summoned courage to tell them I was going to do what I was going to do in the most polite and diplomatic manner. I bet my mum was taken aback because in the words of my brother, I had always been the golden child that always listened to them. But I had to do some things for posterity and for the records.

Well, I think in the end my parents won because though we had tribe issues that got settled, timing still reared its head and we had to discontinue what we had. It was pretty painful saying goodbye majorly because of timing, the normal me would have cried about it for like a year but I got past it faster than I thought I would. Now, I am tabula rasa and back to square one, I am not emotionally tethered to anyone and right now, all I have left are crushes and admiration on and for people.

‘…and He has induced mutual love and tenderness between you…’

I cannot end this this aspect of my 2016 without mentioning my major crush. Yes, I liked him at first “sight” (sight in quotation marks because it was on the internet) and it’s been on for like 6 months now. We talk very often, he is aware that I like him, he likes me also but I am not sure how to deal with anything so I have been taking it a day at a time without harbouring any expectations in my head. I don’t even know if it is still a crush and frankly, I am too lazy to start figuring it out. Perhaps, it is more than a crush. The previous me would have started thinking of all the things that can be but I guess I have grown up a little and I have come to understand that things can go south pretty fast.

At this point, I’d have said I am still waiting for the love of my life and anyone who finds him should bring him to me but I will not. If by chance, anyone of you meets the love of my life, tell him I will not be ready to entertain him until December 2017 except he can overly impress me before then of course.

Will I even be doing justice to 2016 if I don’t mention that I met loads and loads of amazing people on Twitter whose names I can’t begin to pen down in this review. Do I start with Abubakar Sambo that makes me feel better when I am down without him realizing it himself? Or with Adetoun Alamutu that is many shades of amazing? Where do I even place Abdulrahman that makes me laugh effortlessly? Or Farida, the IPS baby girl?

‘And when you have made a decision, put your trust in God’

I bagged my first degree in Electrical and Electronic Engineering this year. 2017 is going to be the most defining year yet of my life and so I did a lot of critical thinking and planning ahead this year most of which entailed where to undergo my NYSC, what to do during said period, where and what to do my Master’s Degree in. Last year, I was totally clueless about what to pursue for my MSc but 2016 provided answers which are of course subject to change.

Hopefully by August 2019, I should have bagged my Masters in Control Engineering. All things being equal, 2017 is the year I tick the NYSC box amongst other things. I intend to meet more people, go out more often, do more volunteering and probably teach pro bono. Of course, all these are highly dependent on where I undergo my NYSC. I have really high hopes for 2017 and I hope that in 365 days from now, I’ll be writing a happier piece than my previous yearly reviews.

Give glad tidings to the patiently persevering.’

2016 has been the year of learning huge loads of life lessons, realizing things, becoming a better person, adulting in unanticipated proportions, making huge life decisions, getting answers to questions asked by previous years. In comparison with 2015, it was an average year but I sure learnt a lot. I like to refer to this year as the most realistic year I have had. Truly, this was the year of breaking out of my cocoon. I made compromises and did things I could have sworn I wouldn’t do. It helped me realize that if I truly care for someone, I can go miles just to make the person comfortable. I almost made decisions this year that may have greatly changed the course of my life but I am very glad I didn’t.

Here are a few things I picked up from 2016:

  • Stercus accidit.
  • The world will never stop for you to grieve because your problems are minute in the grand scheme of things.
  • You never know how to react until you find yourself in certain shoes.
  • Don’t expect everyone to live their lives the way you live yours.
  • Parents mostly want the best for you but they may not know what is best for you.
  • Most of the time, if you stand your ground, your parents will begin to reason with you.

Won’t it be inappropriate of me to end my review without mentioning names?

Cliché as it may seem, I am extremely grateful to God for a realistic and well spent year.

Jibola, Bisola and Temilade I couldn’t have asked for better siblings.

Mum and Dad, thanks for always coming through.

Brother Suleiman, you are my favourite person of 2016. You were amazing in epic ways this year. I can’t thank you enough for being there every single step of the way. I still hate that you are always right.

Raheemah and Salamah, God bless you for being sisters to me.

Samuel, I am not sure I’d have had a memorable year without you.

Oyinda and my other ladies in Engineering, I hope we all meet at the acme.

My classmates, the Ohmie$, it’s been an amazing 5 years. I hope we all find what we are looking for.

To the junkies in ABH, it’s really hard to forget how thoughtful you guys were on my birthday. I hope you all win.

My Hifz sisters, Aminah and Fola, you made a difference in my 2016 life.

Ridwan Oladipupo, I am surprised I started off this year loathing you but now, you’re one of the closest people to me. Thank you for being a friend on days I could no longer pretend to hold it together anymore.

Quadri Adewale, you were a huge part of my final year project and by extension, my 2016. I really appreciate everything.

Aisha Salaudeen and Fu‘ad Lawal, thank you for being there on days when things were pitch dark this year.

Ladi Williams, thank you for being an inspiration. I hope you keep knowing things.

Suleman Aneru, you were a significant part of my year. I hope you keep winning.

Abdulrahman and Abubakar, you guys will never understand how much I value you both. Stay amazing.

Adetoun Alamutu and Lamide Bello, I hope you both find happiness.

To everyone else, thank you very much for being a part of my year.

2017, I have a very terrible feeling about you but I still hope you go as planned.

LeAmbivert.

2015- Her Year in Review

By : Abolaji Amina

‘Do people think theyll be left to say they believe and not be tested?’

2014 was a horrible year for me, couldnt even write its review halfway, got hit my a lot of harsh realities so I naturally hoped for a better 2015. The first quarter of 2015 seemed like 2014 all over again. Results were released and I did relatively terribly, no thanks to 2014. I was plenty shades of sad and  I couldn’t bring myself to tell my parents or myself. It was really a hard pill to swallow, I didn’t have any explanations. I finally summoned courage to say it and they were suportive and encouraging in their little way.

‘No soul will be tested beyond its scope’

The first few weeks of the new semester was hell, my failure haunted me. I started taking the semester one day at a time. Tests and assignments were rolling in and there were plenty courses I had issues with, there was a lot of pressure to do well and sometimes, I’d just break down and cry. On the upside, I got closer to some of my classmates and they ended up making the semester worthwhile. I remember how we’d laugh and banter  before practicals, in between classes, amidst struggle for internship placement and after horrible tests.

‘When something disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up’

I broke someone’s heart because I was tired of  him being on my case and wanted to be alone but it was for the  good of our souls. He was on my case for over a year but sometimes, these things don’t work. We are good friends now, always been. If I want a genuine convo filled with bants, he’ll be the first person I’ll call.

I also moved on from an ex of two years,  I love hard and its very difficult for me to get over someone I genuinely like but I did it. Things like this are only funny in retrospect and now, I just laugh at myself for the things I did. I was such a youngin’ , I wish I had taken all the advice and was more mature to handle it but we move still.

‘Call on me and I’ll respond’

Ramadan came and by God, that was the best part of my year. It was so beautiful and the inner peace I attained then was unparalleled, I didn’t feel my life belonged to me anymore. I just left everything in God’s hands and I had no cause to regret. I felt like a new human ready to take on whatever. At this point, applications to different companies for internship was on going and that was the major talk of the class. Tests and exams were at the door and it was the time of the semester where the motto usually is ‘Lack of sleep is temporary, CGPA is permanent.

‘Put your trust in God if you’re true believers ‘

Exam timetable was released few days to exam and it spelt ‘terror.’ We were to write 8 papers in 6 days, I couldn’t even cry. My schedule then was snack-pray-nap-read-repeat. Yeah, you read that right, I was snacking and taking naps as opposed to eating and sleeping. I read in ways and places I had never done before. Exams finished and God really came through, like I almost cried after certain exams because of His mercy. The struggle to find placement for 6 months internship intensified, had to deal with rejections here and there from companies. Sometimes, i’d just call my mum and tell her to keep praying. The fear came back, of failure, of ending up just anywhere, of the unknown.

‘With every hardship, there’s relief’

Shall I compare August to a summer’s day? August was lovelier and more temperate. Results were released and I did great. I also got job offers from 3 companies so I went from hoping to get a placement to thinking of which company to pick. Everything was just too good to be true considering that I also met this guy I liked and liked me also . Aside little lows, my year has been great since August, the company is fine, the exposure is unparalleled, I have generally been happier, attended more events and met more people .

‘…God is the best of planners’

2015 was a funny year on the bae front. At the end of 2014, I said I wasn’t going to be single on my birthday (June) and I’m sure 2015 was just looking at me saying ‘LOL. Dont be a joke.’ I spent the first half of the year pushing people away and in August when I met someone, I thought ‘ooh 2015, let’s do this’ but it laughed at me again. We didn’t work out and unlike my normal self, I moved past it fast. I hate failing so I’m basically tired but 2016 is another year. Maybe it’s going to be that cute guy at work or the fine doctor at the hospital or no one I’ve met at all. If you find the love of my life, tell him im waiting for him. Time is going, delay is dangerous.

‘…and when you’ve made a decision, put your trust in God.’

Did I mention 2016 is also the year I finally bag my B.Sc, Electrical Electronic Engineering, ceteris paribus? Im not particularly excited about it because labour market struggle plus I’m not sure I have what it takes to be a great engineer. I’ve not found my passion in life so I am very scared of the future because of the many brilliant minds in this field and i feel im not worthy but ill trust God as always. Hopefully, I’ll have my career plans figured out in the coming year.

‘Be thankful and i’ll give you more’

My friends were really there for me this year. I don’t feel I’m worthy of all that support. Sometimes, I don’t think I care for them as much as they for me, I do but I just don’t show it. 2016 is hopefully the year I become a better friend, show love to people and encourage my encouragers, these people need support sometimes.  Maybe 2015 just feels great because the previous year was horrible but I’m thankful regardless. I  made difficult life changing decisions and I’m still on the journey to finding myself. I realized that I’m stronger, more understanding ,daring, confident and outspoken now. Its been a year of highs and lows but no one ever said it will be rosy always.

I had a near death experience this year. It happened during a work training that was to qualify us to go offshore (visit the oil rig ), it involved underwater escape and I literally saw death because I was just scared and not used to water. To be honest, until that experience, I always thought swimming was easy but I know better now and it taught me to value my life more. Its the 29th December, 2015 and I’m writing this somewhere 200km off the coast of Nigeria on an oil producing vessel owned by the company. It’s safe to say 2015 was too good to be true and I don’t think I’m deserving of it. I hope I’ll write same time next year with good news from 2016.

I learnt quite a few things this year:

– Trust God always as cliche as it may seem

– Dont take blame for the wrongdoing of others just to feel better

– Dont lose yourself trying to find happiness

– Live. Love. Laugh.

Can I even end this without mentioning names? I give unalloyed thanks to God for answered and unanswered prayers.

Samuel, you’ve been awesome, i dont feel i deserve you, you’re my favourite person of 2015 and i love you for everything.

Raheema, you’ve been bae since day 1 and i appreciate you. You’re amazeballs.

Sulayman, thanks for all the advice, I promise to get my life in order and not call you at odd hours to fix me.

Chinwe, we found friends in each other this year, I hope we keep it up. You are the strongest person I know.

I can’t leave out my roommates who were there when I needed shoulders to cry on. Thank you.

Olamide, I think 2016 can be better.

Quadri, we dont hate each other afterall, I find you exciting, I hope we become better friends.

To everyone else, thank you for making 2015 what it was. Its been an amazing year.

2016, cheers to you, please be lit.

LeAmbivert.