By : Abolaji Amina
‘Do people think theyll be left to say they believe and not be tested?’
2014 was a horrible year for me, couldnt even write its review halfway, got hit my a lot of harsh realities so I naturally hoped for a better 2015. The first quarter of 2015 seemed like 2014 all over again. Results were released and I did relatively terribly, no thanks to 2014. I was plenty shades of sad and I couldn’t bring myself to tell my parents or myself. It was really a hard pill to swallow, I didn’t have any explanations. I finally summoned courage to say it and they were suportive and encouraging in their little way.
‘No soul will be tested beyond its scope’
The first few weeks of the new semester was hell, my failure haunted me. I started taking the semester one day at a time. Tests and assignments were rolling in and there were plenty courses I had issues with, there was a lot of pressure to do well and sometimes, I’d just break down and cry. On the upside, I got closer to some of my classmates and they ended up making the semester worthwhile. I remember how we’d laugh and banter before practicals, in between classes, amidst struggle for internship placement and after horrible tests.
‘When something disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up’
I broke someone’s heart because I was tired of him being on my case and wanted to be alone but it was for the good of our souls. He was on my case for over a year but sometimes, these things don’t work. We are good friends now, always been. If I want a genuine convo filled with bants, he’ll be the first person I’ll call.
I also moved on from an ex of two years, I love hard and its very difficult for me to get over someone I genuinely like but I did it. Things like this are only funny in retrospect and now, I just laugh at myself for the things I did. I was such a youngin’ , I wish I had taken all the advice and was more mature to handle it but we move still.
‘Call on me and I’ll respond’
Ramadan came and by God, that was the best part of my year. It was so beautiful and the inner peace I attained then was unparalleled, I didn’t feel my life belonged to me anymore. I just left everything in God’s hands and I had no cause to regret. I felt like a new human ready to take on whatever. At this point, applications to different companies for internship was on going and that was the major talk of the class. Tests and exams were at the door and it was the time of the semester where the motto usually is ‘Lack of sleep is temporary, CGPA is permanent.
‘Put your trust in God if you’re true believers ‘
Exam timetable was released few days to exam and it spelt ‘terror.’ We were to write 8 papers in 6 days, I couldn’t even cry. My schedule then was snack-pray-nap-read-repeat. Yeah, you read that right, I was snacking and taking naps as opposed to eating and sleeping. I read in ways and places I had never done before. Exams finished and God really came through, like I almost cried after certain exams because of His mercy. The struggle to find placement for 6 months internship intensified, had to deal with rejections here and there from companies. Sometimes, i’d just call my mum and tell her to keep praying. The fear came back, of failure, of ending up just anywhere, of the unknown.
‘With every hardship, there’s relief’
Shall I compare August to a summer’s day? August was lovelier and more temperate. Results were released and I did great. I also got job offers from 3 companies so I went from hoping to get a placement to thinking of which company to pick. Everything was just too good to be true considering that I also met this guy I liked and liked me also . Aside little lows, my year has been great since August, the company is fine, the exposure is unparalleled, I have generally been happier, attended more events and met more people .
‘…God is the best of planners’
2015 was a funny year on the bae front. At the end of 2014, I said I wasn’t going to be single on my birthday (June) and I’m sure 2015 was just looking at me saying ‘LOL. Dont be a joke.’ I spent the first half of the year pushing people away and in August when I met someone, I thought ‘ooh 2015, let’s do this’ but it laughed at me again. We didn’t work out and unlike my normal self, I moved past it fast. I hate failing so I’m basically tired but 2016 is another year. Maybe it’s going to be that cute guy at work or the fine doctor at the hospital or no one I’ve met at all. If you find the love of my life, tell him im waiting for him. Time is going, delay is dangerous.
‘…and when you’ve made a decision, put your trust in God.’
Did I mention 2016 is also the year I finally bag my B.Sc, Electrical Electronic Engineering, ceteris paribus? Im not particularly excited about it because labour market struggle plus I’m not sure I have what it takes to be a great engineer. I’ve not found my passion in life so I am very scared of the future because of the many brilliant minds in this field and i feel im not worthy but ill trust God as always. Hopefully, I’ll have my career plans figured out in the coming year.
‘Be thankful and i’ll give you more’
My friends were really there for me this year. I don’t feel I’m worthy of all that support. Sometimes, I don’t think I care for them as much as they for me, I do but I just don’t show it. 2016 is hopefully the year I become a better friend, show love to people and encourage my encouragers, these people need support sometimes. Maybe 2015 just feels great because the previous year was horrible but I’m thankful regardless. I made difficult life changing decisions and I’m still on the journey to finding myself. I realized that I’m stronger, more understanding ,daring, confident and outspoken now. Its been a year of highs and lows but no one ever said it will be rosy always.
I had a near death experience this year. It happened during a work training that was to qualify us to go offshore (visit the oil rig ), it involved underwater escape and I literally saw death because I was just scared and not used to water. To be honest, until that experience, I always thought swimming was easy but I know better now and it taught me to value my life more. Its the 29th December, 2015 and I’m writing this somewhere 200km off the coast of Nigeria on an oil producing vessel owned by the company. It’s safe to say 2015 was too good to be true and I don’t think I’m deserving of it. I hope I’ll write same time next year with good news from 2016.
I learnt quite a few things this year:
– Trust God always as cliche as it may seem
– Dont take blame for the wrongdoing of others just to feel better
– Dont lose yourself trying to find happiness
– Live. Love. Laugh.
Can I even end this without mentioning names? I give unalloyed thanks to God for answered and unanswered prayers.
Samuel, you’ve been awesome, i dont feel i deserve you, you’re my favourite person of 2015 and i love you for everything.
Raheema, you’ve been bae since day 1 and i appreciate you. You’re amazeballs.
Sulayman, thanks for all the advice, I promise to get my life in order and not call you at odd hours to fix me.
Chinwe, we found friends in each other this year, I hope we keep it up. You are the strongest person I know.
I can’t leave out my roommates who were there when I needed shoulders to cry on. Thank you.
Olamide, I think 2016 can be better.
Quadri, we dont hate each other afterall, I find you exciting, I hope we become better friends.
To everyone else, thank you for making 2015 what it was. Its been an amazing year.
2016, cheers to you, please be lit.